You’ve Got To Laugh

Well finally found a computer with reasonable internet access and thought I’d send you a couple of ‘special’ things that I’d been saving for you…

Trawling through the 64 television stations I caught the tail end of the 1/2 hour weekly foreign language program on Beijing TV… and enjoyed the following tidbits:

”… In fighting for peace china has always been the greatest … “

”… In the past men ruled all things outside the home while women managed home affairs … today we believe that women ‘hold up half the sky’ … Now lets see what the foreign diplomats wives are up to … they are busy preparing delicacies for sale (a cake stall) … showing both their graceful beauty and talent… “

And in the Foreign Language Bookshop

In a delightful book called: ‘Modern English’ the following phonetic pronunciations:

  • gi dao’d mai feis (get out my face)
  • shi wd bi pridi if shi we’zn so faet (she would be pretty if she wasn’t so fat)
  • (needless to say they were learning american not english)

    The american in the pharmacy … approaches the counter with a brightly coloured packet of tablets he has selected from the shelves…

    “hello I’m looking for something for a cough… “cough” “cough” “cough” …. as he pushes the packet across the counter… Oh, not these?… Oh, they are for birth control…”

    And ……… watch out for the next Chinese product to hit the market – launched at the Guangzhou trade fair – stackable fruit grown within square moulds (oranges, grapefruits, gourds, melons each beautifully embossed with the Chinese characters for ‘love’ ………. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    and two of my more personal experiences…

    Each night walking home in Beijing I’ve passed a blind man with a child on the street playing a bamboo whistle …. on my last night i sat down and washed the childs hands and face then gave him a warm bread roll (whole wheat) … while his father launched into the only english song he knew … happy birthday to you

    and last night while i was having dinner in Datong, Shanxi Province (the largest open cut coal mine in the world and also home of the ‘hanging temple’ and the most amazing giant Buddha carvings in grottos overlooking the coal pits) three children stood giggling at the side of my table – I gestured for them to come over and the launched into “Hello how are you what is your name my name is … i am a student my school is … ” without taking a breath.

    We played around for a while and they ran off … about ten minutes later all the men in the restaurant started laughing and pointing … the kids had come back with their English school books and crowded around the table reciting various phrases interspersed with ‘excellent’ ‘& ‘very good’…….

    Catching the night train to Pingyao @ 10pm – I’ve booked a hard sleeper (which isn’t too bad – only three hard bunks to a wall (6 in each alcove and we get pillows and a doonaish thingie) its also interesting sleeping in the same space as five men so far I’ve been lucky they have just snored – I’m dreading spending 9 hours with someone who clears their throat all night – and leans over to spit on the floor…… WWWWHHHHHAAAARRRRKKKKK – very wet, very gurglely and probably the most disgusting sound I’ve every heard!)

    Take care

    xx Kate

    Pearl Market

    Spent the afternoon at the pearl market – 4 stories of ‘rocks’ interspersed with electronics, watches, cosmetics, folk arts rolls of material (silk, cotton, linen, denim and clothing, from t-shirts to wedding gowns to suits to funky multi coloured fur coats).

    Managed to purchase a number of beautiful hand painted silk kites from tiny insects a couple of inches across to eagles with a 2 meter wing span, and a goldfish, butterfly and 3 meter long dragon.

    …and my favorite, a magic ’snow dome’ of the Great Wall of China for 10 Yuan

    I also managed to find some, cotton, canvas and linen with traditional designs for the kids (Tom and Halzska)

    Then the best spicy pork ribs cooked in masses of garlic and chilli – YUM

    Sleepy now…

    Beijing Zoo

    What an adventure…hired a bike and rode out to the Beijing zoo this morning, freezing day, wearing three layers and a scarf.

    All the best laid plans… worked out my route, up ‘my’ road cut across the top of the forbidden city, round the moat then on to Guanzhou park where, according to the NY Times in 2000 they have a fabulous pet; market on weekends, rode around for a hour or so until I finally got completely lost and ended up at the 3rd ring road to the north of Beijing, luckily I always enjoy the journey… after carrying my bike across a wide stretch of railway tracks, then clambering over a bridge, I rediscovered my way and found the Zoo.

    90 Yuan to get in, bitterly cold, the pandas were asleep, the otters thought it was spring, the reptile pavilion was horrid (very depressing, I’m sure all of those poor creatures agree) and then it started to rain… that was fine for a while until it got heavier and all the animals decided to go ‘home’… i.e. I was the only animal silly enough to be wandering around in the rain!

    It was at about this stage that I remembered I had my ‘Sydney Olympic Volunteer Raincoat’ in my bag, which I put over my sodden clothes and started to steam.

    Finally found the front gate and hopped back on my bike to ride home – through the puddles and mud in the dark without bike lights or reflectors or a helmet, 1 large exotic Australian women dressed in red, swathed in a clear plastic bag, flapping in the wind as she trundled home…

    Kate

    Train Travel

    I caught the train to Beijing last night, a soft sleeper… that means you can live/sleep with 3 complete strangers for 15 hours in an area of 3 square meters… it becomes particularly interesting if your three companions are middle aged men who like to sit up all night smoking and gambling…Actually I have not yet had that pleasure… my ‘travel companions’ (to Shanghai) have been a young couple with a hyperactive 7 year old – David, who proved to be an excellent Chinese tutor… and (Beijing) two students who sat up giggling and whispering shyly most of the night (the throes of a budding romance?)

    I really enjoy the opportunity to ‘met the locals’ and learn a little Chinese… so I make my way straight to the dining car … this allows you to order some quite good food, drink a bottle of local beer (yes I have reacquired my taste for beer – the local beer ‘Tsingtao’ is made a brewery in the coastal town of Qingtao in Shandong province, using local spring water – so I’m pretending its like Cascade – only much cheaper; a long neck costs 2 Yuan (12 Yuan = 2 dollars)